Network Blog

Someone e-mailed the Network this past week.  They were trying to go through the online "joining" process, but after filling out the info page, it took them to a payment page.  They said "payment?  You have to pay to join this thing?"  And so they e-mailed us to see what that was all about, and about what the costs "got them."

Lori and I brought Sam, age 6, to a birthday party on Friday.  It was for the birthday of a classmate.  One that we didn't know, and whose parents we didn't know.

Now you have to understand something first about little-kids birthdays.  They are normally pretty tame, controlled events; at least the ones we have participated in before.  Example:  In our house, the boys get to invite as many friends as they are years old.  So when Sam turned 6, he got to invite 6 friends.  There are games...activities...gift bags (don't get me started...) There are social norms for kids birthday parties.

This isn't what we experienced on Friday.

When we pulled up to the house, the yard was crawling with kids.  It was chaotic.  They had rented a bouncy thing...the kind with an obstacle course and then a big slide.  It was nuts.  Kids weren't sliding.  They were sitting on the top, and then jumping down to bounce on the 'landing pad' 1000 feet below.  Ok, maybe just 6 feet, but it looked like 1000.  They'd bounce off of the pad and then land on the CONCRETE sidewalk. 

There were no parents around watching things.  The parents were greeting other parents in the garage area...then the other parents were leaving. 

I said to Lori "This doesn't look good."  "I know." 

Sam, of course, looked like he gone to heaven.  He was ready to go.  What do we do?  Lori went up and introduced herself to the Mother.  She was very nice.  They didn't take oiur cell phone number.  Lori walked back to the car.  She looked at me: "I'm not sure what to do...I could offer to stay, but what that be too pushy?"  "I don't know." 

Sam is smart and pretty wise for his age.  He's also uses caution.  He may talk a good game, but he's pretty careful.

We went.

2 hours later, Lori picked him up.  He was fine.

But the whole thing made me wonder:  When a parent pulls up to Lord of Life Lutheran Church in Maple Grove, Minnesota, to bring their young person to an event/retreat/confirmation night/youth group/whatever for which I or one of my colleagues are responsible for, what do they see?  How do they feel?  Do we instill confidence?  Do they go back out to the car and say "I'm not so sure about this?"  Do they trust us?  Do we give them reason to? 

We'd better. 

The trust of the parents is the #1 asset we have.  Squander it and we're dead in the water...becalmed. 

The Standards and Guidelines initiative that the Network is putting together under the leadership of Tammy Jones West, is all about this.  Are we as ministers worth being trusted?  Are our ministries?  Are our congregations? 

How can we be most effective...most trustworthy...most allied with parents, who are our primary partners in this ministry?   This is the challenge that sits before us.  More will be coming out soon for people to review.  We'd love your feedback.  Watch the e-news for more information and drafts to review.

Some people are threatened by standards and guidelines.  Don't be.  We are putting them together that we might be freed to be the best, the most excellent, the most trustworthy that we can be in this ministry.

Our young people and their families deserve nothing less.

tb