Network Blog

It has been a tough week in the Buegler household.

Normally, I use this space for info about the Network...please allow me to deviate from that for an entry.

Our youngest son, Samuel, was hospitalized this past week.  The short version:

According to the Infectious disease doctor, Samuel must have been carrying around the Strep Group A bacteria for quite awhile. (It went through our household 6-8 weeks ago, and according to the doc, yes, it can remain dormant in the body for that long and longer.)  Sam had a very minor injury a week ago last Friday.  Swimming in the Community Center pool, he hyper-extended his fingers.  No big deal.

He developed a fever.  We thought it must be a cold or flu.  His fingers were sore; of course, he'd bent them.

Saturday, he remained the same.

Sunday morning, the pain was worse, there was swelling in the arm, and a suspiscious red spot had developed over his wrist.  I had to go to worship; Lori took Sam to our clinic, which is open Sunday morning.  They sent Sam straight to the hospital.  They were concerned about an infection in the bone...(read: really bad.)

It wound up being an infection in the wrist joint.  Also bad, but not as bad.

So, 18 doctors, 2 hospitals, 1 surgery, 1 procedure and now 6 weeks of IV anti-biotics to look forward to, hopefully Sam is on the mend. 

As we took this journey, I tweeted what was happening.  Twitter feeds my Facebook status.  Little updates of where we were at and what was going on.  I have to admit, I wondered whether this was 'appropriate' or not.  After all, as a card-carrying stoic norwiegen, we're pretty private people.  And many folks I don't know that well receive my updates.

But the other prospect was answering a zillion phone calls...telling the story over and over and over and over again...

So I twittered my son's illness.

What was fascinating to me was the response.  I'd post something up and would quickly, within 30-60 minutes, have tons of responses:  Well wishers, people promising to pray, people asking us what we 'need'...It was amazing...overwhelming, actually.

And when significant events took place, the same thing happened.  At 9pm on Tuesday night I twittered something like "We're on our way to surgery."  Wham.  Instant responses.  Almost overwhelming.

So flash-forward a couple of days:  The sr. pastor with whom I am blessed to serve is visiting us in the hospital and the conversation turns to prayer requests and then to these Tweets and Facebook updates.  I explain to him what Lori and I'd experienced, and I showed him the posts and the responses. 

His response:  "This is church." 

This is church.

Yes, it is.  It's a different kind of church.  It's not structural...it's organic.  But is the Holy Spirit any less present?  Not in what I experienced.  I experienced the love and grace of God in a way that couldn't otherwise have happened.  God's grace moved in those notes in ways that stirred our hearts.  Healing, emotional and physical took place because of the prayers of the hundreds who read and followed. 

This is church.

Some may not be comfortable with it.  Some may not understand it.  Some may diminish it.  Their claim is that real relationships cannot be lived out online.  Speaking as an immigrant to the digital culture, I respectfully disagree.  The prayers and support that was communicated to me via short, 140 character messages lifted our hearts and brought healing to us.  It is a different form of community, but it is community.  And I belive that it is the work of God's Spirit.

This is church.  There are not walls.  There are not boundaries. It shouldn't diminish traditional church as we have known it, and it certainly won't replace it.  But it is one of the ways that God draws together the twos and threes...the tens, hundreds and thousands.  It is one of the places the Spirit blows and it cannot be ignored.

This is church.

tb

Lori and I brought Sam, age 6, to a birthday party on Friday.  It was for the birthday of a classmate.  One that we didn't know, and whose parents we didn't know.

Now you have to understand something first about little-kids birthdays.  They are normally pretty tame, controlled events; at least the ones we have participated in before.  Example:  In our house, the boys get to invite as many friends as they are years old.  So when Sam turned 6, he got to invite 6 friends.  There are games...activities...gift bags (don't get me started...) There are social norms for kids birthday parties.

This isn't what we experienced on Friday.

When we pulled up to the house, the yard was crawling with kids.  It was chaotic.  They had rented a bouncy thing...the kind with an obstacle course and then a big slide.  It was nuts.  Kids weren't sliding.  They were sitting on the top, and then jumping down to bounce on the 'landing pad' 1000 feet below.  Ok, maybe just 6 feet, but it looked like 1000.  They'd bounce off of the pad and then land on the CONCRETE sidewalk. 

There were no parents around watching things.  The parents were greeting other parents in the garage area...then the other parents were leaving. 

I said to Lori "This doesn't look good."  "I know." 

Sam, of course, looked like he gone to heaven.  He was ready to go.  What do we do?  Lori went up and introduced herself to the Mother.  She was very nice.  They didn't take oiur cell phone number.  Lori walked back to the car.  She looked at me: "I'm not sure what to do...I could offer to stay, but what that be too pushy?"  "I don't know." 

Sam is smart and pretty wise for his age.  He's also uses caution.  He may talk a good game, but he's pretty careful.

We went.

2 hours later, Lori picked him up.  He was fine.

But the whole thing made me wonder:  When a parent pulls up to Lord of Life Lutheran Church in Maple Grove, Minnesota, to bring their young person to an event/retreat/confirmation night/youth group/whatever for which I or one of my colleagues are responsible for, what do they see?  How do they feel?  Do we instill confidence?  Do they go back out to the car and say "I'm not so sure about this?"  Do they trust us?  Do we give them reason to? 

We'd better. 

The trust of the parents is the #1 asset we have.  Squander it and we're dead in the water...becalmed. 

The Standards and Guidelines initiative that the Network is putting together under the leadership of Tammy Jones West, is all about this.  Are we as ministers worth being trusted?  Are our ministries?  Are our congregations? 

How can we be most effective...most trustworthy...most allied with parents, who are our primary partners in this ministry?   This is the challenge that sits before us.  More will be coming out soon for people to review.  We'd love your feedback.  Watch the e-news for more information and drafts to review.

Some people are threatened by standards and guidelines.  Don't be.  We are putting them together that we might be freed to be the best, the most excellent, the most trustworthy that we can be in this ministry.

Our young people and their families deserve nothing less.

tb

2 nights ago, I was at the Minneapolis International Airport, on my way to Chicago for the "Conspire" Children's Ministry conference at Willow Creek Community Church.  More about that later.  When I booked the flight, I wanted to maximize my time at home and so booked the last flight out to Chicago:  10:35pm. 

Life and schedules change and I wound up getting to the airport earlier than I had originally thought.  (We wanted Lori and the boys to get home in time to for them to get to bed ontime.)  So at 8:30pm, I was wandering MSP.  Looking at a schedule, I discovered that there was a flight leaving for O'Hare at 9:15pm.  Hmmm...getting an earlier flight...getting to the hotel in Chicago and to bed earlier...sounds good.

I went to the gate.  A transcription of the conversation:

Me:  I'm wondering what are the chances of getting on this flight on 'stand by', so I can get there earlier?
Agent:  Yes, we should have room.  This flight is pretty wide-open.
Me:  Great!
Agent:  There is a $50 fee to go stand by.
Me:  What?
Agent:  There is a $50 fee to go stand by.
Me:  But there's plenty of room.
Agent:  Yes, but there is a $50 fee.
Me:  Seriously?  You're going to charge me $50 more to occupy an empty seat 1 hour earlier than I otherwise would?
Agent:  Yes, there is a $50 fee.
Me:  No thanks.
Agent:  But there's plenty of room!
Me:  Yeah, but it's not worth $50 bucks.

So what happened here?  They could have made an ally.  They could have created a sense of gratitude.  It would have cost them nothing for me to switch.  They have disintegrated some (not all, but some) loyalty.  There is also some angst in Minneapolis because of the transitions in the NWA/Delta merger.  This did not decrease the angst.

For NWA, this was an opportunity lost. 

It makes me wonder though.  If we approached our congregation's families...parents...even the young people, with a sense of 'customer service', what messages do we send them?  Do we build trust?  loyalty?  gratitude?  relationships?  Are we doing ministry?  Do we follow the letter or the spirit?

Must think more.